i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
