I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
