is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i think my cat just said my name.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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