So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
