i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
