There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
