she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
