i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize