what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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