He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
