You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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