she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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