Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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