I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
