happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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