It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
