Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
