why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
A+ Viking dick
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
