True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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