Non-Jews are for practice
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
