So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
