im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
