bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
