There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
