I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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