Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize