I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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