Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize