Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
