I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
