id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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