Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
