My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
