i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
