He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
