I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
