Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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