you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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