I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
did i walk over a car last night?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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