Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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