she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
