I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
