just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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