he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
a search helicopter?!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
