I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
