is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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