one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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