If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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