She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
