Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
