So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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