am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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