party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
