when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
