For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
