yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I checked into jail on foursquare
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
