literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
