Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
